What's In a Name

June 12, 2015

Every day parents try to come up with an original name that won’t traumatize their kid too much. Some go with family names, some choose something that means something to them, others choose things that are off the wall. In 1984 my Mom went with the “off the wall” option.

For the record let me just say that I love my name. It’s different {still}, it’s fun, and it absolutely fits my personality. I’ve heard all the questions and comments about it and for the most part I just ignore everyone’s attempt at thinking they’re funny.

                Did you dad want a boy?
                Were they not sure what to name you?
                Did the doctors make a mistake?

Real effing original people. Seriously, that’s the best you can do?
What actually bothers me the most is when people say “Michael? That’s interesting.” Saying my name is “interesting” is pretty much a euphemism for saying my name is weird. Add to that the people who say “oh, that’s different”. How about I tell you to GFY? Is that interesting?

And now I’m all riled up….   Wooooosah.

The second irritation on the list? Calling me Michelle. If that’s your name, more power to you, but it’s not my name and I find it dismissive. It goes like this.

Person looking at paper: Michael?
Me: That’s me.  
Person: {looking at my strangely, then back to paper} Michelle??
Me: {shooting daggers} N O….

I will give you the Mike Tyson stare down for being stupid

Look, I understand the mistake. The spellings are similar and given that I AM female, it’s a fair assumption to think you’ve misread your paper. I get it. I’ll correct you and we’re good. But don’t let it happen a second time.

{FYI, I drafted this post Monday morning. 2 hours after it was drafted this happened...} Attorney at work is walking by. He reads my name, I say "yes?" and then he backtracks and says "oh, I thought it was a mistake." I say no. And then starts the momentary awkwardness where he then says "well, nice to meet you". You know what, screw you pal.

Another annoyance, but more so in the ‘what’s wrong with you’ kind of way is when people ask me how to spell my name. C’mon people! Just because I’m a female and have a guys name does NOT mean it’s spelled all crazy. It’s spelled the way it’s supposed to be spelled. The correct way. I do recognize that some in the Caribbean spell it Mykal and I’m actually ok with that, but really, how many other ways have you ever seen Michael spelled? And if you’re doing the ‘ea’ thing just get away.

Glad we got that all cleared up. Happy weekending!

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